If you or your spouse is dealing with Avoidant Personality Disorder (APD), it can create feelings of disconnection and loneliness within your marriage. As a professional Christian psychotherapist, I specialize in helping individuals with APD by addressing the root causes of their personality issues through trauma healing and an internal family systems approach. For spouses, I provide guidance to help identify the extent of the condition and offer strategies to cope effectively and supportively.
Avoidant Personality Disorder often manifests as extreme privacy and avoidance of personal sharing and emotional openness. If your partner consistently avoids intimacy, shies away from eye contact, or struggles to share their thoughts and listen to yours, they may be displaying signs of APD. This can make it challenging to build true intimacy and connection, leaving you feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
Through our therapeutic work, we aim to heal these early traumas and foster a more secure emotional core. Whether you are experiencing APD yourself or are married to someone who is, I am here to provide the support and tools needed to navigate these challenges with compassion and understanding.
What I observe in the Avoidant Personality is:
1. A tendency to avoid close relationships and maintain social distance to avoid intimacy.
2. Difficulty dealing with conflict and a tendency to avoid or lie to avoid accountability.
3. A lack of empathy and difficulty comforting others, preferring to offer solutions instead.
4. A reluctance to step outside of one's comfort zone and avoid taking risks in various areas of life, particularly in matters of love and personal communication.
5. Refusing to give straight answers;
6. failing to acknowledge others' feelings, and
7. avoiding clear requests.
8. A lack of depth in conversation.
9. A preoccupation with appearance and maintaining a perfect image.
10. Difficulty with spontaneous hospitality and tending to overcompensate with planned events.
11. Avoiding risks in various areas of life and thus saying no to many opportunities.
It's important to note that everyone is unique and may display these characteristics to varying degrees, and a professional assessment is necessary to determine if an individual meets the criteria for an Avoidant Personality Disorder.
I can provide a professional consulation to help you understand the marriage relationship and if the pattern of Avoidant Personality Disorder is present.
PHone (416) 939-0544 for George Hartwell M.Sc. Registered Psychotherapist
To Hell with Playing it Safe (Song)
There's a parable about the talents we're given
The risk-takers thrive, while the fearful are driven
To bury their gifts, and hide from the light
They fear the unknown, and avoid the fight
Chorus: But the true wealth lies in love and growth
Not in hoarding and playing it safe, both
We must partner with God to become our best
And share our light, to help others find rest
Like the caterpillar who's meant to transform
e must shed our old selves, to weather the storm
We may face a breakdown, as we emerge anew
But it's worth it, to become what we're called to
Chorus: For the true wealth lies in love and growth
Not in hoarding and playing it safe, both
We must partner with God to become our best
And share our light, to help others find rest
Bridge: Let go of fear, and embrace the risk
on't cling to the past, or you'll never be whisked
nto a new life, where joy and peace abide
nd the light of the spirit is our guide
Chorus
Outro: So let us embrace the transformation
And use our talents for a greater nation
Let us love and grow, and find true peace
nd become all we were meant to be.
The risk-takers thrive, while the fearful are driven
To bury their gifts, and hide from the light
They fear the unknown, and avoid the fight
Chorus: But the true wealth lies in love and growth
Not in hoarding and playing it safe, both
We must partner with God to become our best
And share our light, to help others find rest
Like the caterpillar who's meant to transform
e must shed our old selves, to weather the storm
We may face a breakdown, as we emerge anew
But it's worth it, to become what we're called to
Chorus: For the true wealth lies in love and growth
Not in hoarding and playing it safe, both
We must partner with God to become our best
And share our light, to help others find rest
Bridge: Let go of fear, and embrace the risk
on't cling to the past, or you'll never be whisked
nto a new life, where joy and peace abide
nd the light of the spirit is our guide
Chorus
Outro: So let us embrace the transformation
And use our talents for a greater nation
Let us love and grow, and find true peace
nd become all we were meant to be.